To my beautiful babies, my life, my world, my happiness. Words cannot describe how much I actually adore you guys, I love you with every fibre of my body.
Its not easy at times raising you guys alone, its challenging, and sometimes lonely, sometimes I question myself, I ask if I’m good enough for you? if I’m doing enough for you? could I do more? and if I could what id do?
I know we don’t have much money, we don’t own our own home, I don’t have a full time job, I can’t give you everything you would want at times, sometimes I can’t even give you what you need, sometimes I have to put my pride aside and reach out to family members for help, particularly financially, like last week when I did not have enough money for your nappies, my dad had to help us out. We are very lucky to have such amazing family around us.
There is nothing worse than going to the drawer and seeing you are out of nappies or electricity, gas, bread, milk, all the essentials every home needs. I get a sharp pain on my heart like someone has just ripped my heart out with a wrench! Looking at you both and thinking in my head “Im sorry”
As you get older you will realise and understand most things we do in life costs money and sadly single parents don’t have a lot of that, with what they do have it goes on bills, food & rent and bills.
I want you to know that there are two very important things that doesn’t cost anything, and its TIME and LOVE and I am making sure I fill you both with Love and Time because that is what I can give you lots of, and I promise to make sure for the rest of my life I will do that. Everything else will get better in time, its just a glitch in the road
If I can teach you anything in this life I want nothing more for you both to travel, explore and live in the present. Life is beautiful and its there for the taking, I will always encourage you guys to dream and dream big. You can have anything in this world. The world is your oyster.
We are 3 and we will be for a very long time, I promise you I will give you everything in this life even when it means personally sacrificing. I will work to the bone in every aspect of life to make you guys happy, I will teach you how to respect, have morals, love and how to be happy.
I have so many goals, dreams and aspirations for us as a family and I promise you this year things will change for us.
I Love you babies so so much, Mammy has big plans and I promise you they will all come come true.
Tears rolling down my face reading this as I go to work as a single mam every day I tell myself she didn’t deserve this a dad who doesn’t care for her – but I give her everything and having the support of family is amazing xxx we are doing great and always will xxx