Its OK to not be Ok.

Growing up I never expressed my feelings, I kept all my feelings locked up inside, people would ask are you ok? my reply was always yes I’m grand. From a very young age I learned to just keep my thoughts and feelings to myself.  At the time it seemed like the right thing to do, because I never wanted to burden anyone and put my problems on anyone else. I was only a child and did not understand that I was a child, I grew up very fast and felt like I was an adult way before I actually was.

When I lost my Mam in 2012 I made a decision and a pact with myself to stop bottling my feelings up inside, I decided to start speaking up for myself and defending myself.  When you lose someone or go through a death it changes you in so many wa
ys, it makes you realise what is important in life and what is not, it gives you perspective on life, it opens your eyes and losing my Mam made me realise a hell of a lot about myself. It got me thinking and my conclusion is this we only live once so why be anything else but happy????? we all deserve to be happy right?

Whats the use in keeping your feelings inside? How can anything change if we can’t speak about it? how can anyone help if they don’t know what is going on with you??? they won’t, we have a personal responsibility to ourselves to speak out, yes its not easy and it may mean stepping outside your comfort zone, but one things for sure you will feel lot better when you do speak out.

Have you ever had your best friend ask you if you are ok and you say yes? but they know that you are lying? they know because your best friend will always know when you are not ok right? but t
hey keep asking? and you keep saying no no I’m fine I’m fine????? but then like maybe 3/4 hours later you might tell your friend what is wrong with you?????? We’ve all been there, whats the point in holding it in??? the people that ask you if your ok are the ones who care about you? therefor they will be happy to listen and help you 🙂

Talking is one of the most therapeutic things in the world, It helps me so much, I used to go concealing every Friday and I would run out the door to my session, I loved it so much because for that one hour a week I was speaking to someone who had absolutely no judgment, he just listened and it felt amazing, I could laugh, cry, scream, shout and there was never any judgment.
Over the years as I became older and am now a Mammy, I talk all the time, I let people know what I’m thinking, how I’m feeling and its not always positive I can assure you of that.  We all have good and bad days, like right now I am having a bad day, I’m sitting in a coffee shop writing this blog.  I had to get out of the house and get a breather, so I came to have a coffee and write.  I don’t even know what I’m having a bad day, but I am, I feel very down and sad inside but I know its only a bad day, I know it will not stay with me, so its ok to have a bad day.  We are only human, we can’t be expected to be super positive every single day of the year. So if and when you are having a bad day, talk about it, share it with a friend or family member and do something that will change your mood into something a little brighter.

Its ok to not be ok, no one is perfect and no one ha
s the right to judge anyone else, so when your happy share your happiness, when your sad, talk about why you’re sad, talk to someone you connect with.

Have a beautiful day XxX

P.S – Always look at the bright side of life 🙂IMG_5713

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