Learning to love yourself is one of the most difficult challenges we come up against at some stage in our lives. I certainly know and understand the difficulty of hating yourself at times, then having that chat with myself about loving me and being comfortable in my own skin and my own body.
For me growing up was so difficult, I battled with low self esteem so much, In school when the teachers would ask questions I’d know the answer but was too embarrassed to put up my hand to answer, when they would come to me I would go bright red in the face and be literally crying inside because I was so embarrassed, all eyes were on me, the fear of messing up, the fear of getting it wrong, the fear of being judged. As i’v got older i’v learned to come out of my shell, particularly over the last 2 years, i’v learned and got to understand that we control our own happiness and if we are not happy in ourselves that it’s only us that can actually make that change to be happy within ourselves, I think being aware of our own feelings is extremely important, once we are aware then we can take it on and work on our flaws that we want to change.
A friend of mine said to me last night “I don’t think you will be truly happy until you are 100% happy in yourself”
She was so right…. (thank’s Lynn) How can we expect to be happy in other aspects of our life if we are not happy in ourselves and completely content??
It got me thinking about my full 28 years on this planet and boy have I come up against some obstacles, without feeling sorry for myself I’m not afraid to say that I have had a very difficult life, i’v lost so much family, became a single mother, I was cheated on, I was in toxic relationships, I got into debt, lost friends, battled with depression and so much more but I won’t bore you with the details, well at least not now anyway.
In between all of this negative s**t I travelled, I met amazing people, amazing friends. I travelled so much on my own and I asked myself why….. and I realised that I have been searching, searching for happiness, MY happy place, i’v been soul searching so much of my life, always looking for an escape route…. Looking for the next place to run to, looking for the next chapter to begin in my life. I guess i’v been too busy running away from my own battles in my head, instead of working through them, iv just escaped them temporarily…. The thoughts always come back, if you don’t deal with them they will creep back up. So we will have to deal with it eventually right?
Do I love myself at this moment in my life?? NO absolutely not…..But i know I will do in the future, I know Im on a journey and my journey has just begun, I know that this black periods is only black for now, I know deep down that my day will come, my time to shine, my time to look in the mirror and say “I’m at a happy place” how long will it take???? who knows, all I know is that I am on a journey and everyday I talk to myself, and try to motivate myself, I try keep toxic people out of my life and out of my business and I try to stay focused on my own personal goals.
We owe it to ourselves to love ourselves don’t we????
Life is a wonderful journey and yes we come up against so many difficult challenges but we also gain so much, we meet people everyday, we learn from everyone we meet.
If you feel similar to the way I do at times just remember its ok, yes you feel shit today but remember tomorrow is a new day and the sun will shine brighter. Surround yourself with positive people, people who lift you up, people who want the best for you, people who help you instead of talking about you behind your back, people who encourage you, people who value you and your friendship.
What’s your happy place?
I have a few, my Mam’s grave is my happy place and driving out to Malahide sitting by the sea with my Starbucks coffee.
Remember life is precious but its short… one day we will look back on our entire life, make sure you can say “I’v lived a god life”