Well where do I even begin…… Today I’m sitting in Costa Coffee absolutely wrecked tired, Last night was a night from hell, Arabella left her bottle in school, this bottle is life for her she absolutely loves this one particular bottle, so I couldn’t get her to sleep at all. She was up all night kicking and screaming, then when I finally got her to sleep she woke again at 2.20am and the screaming started again, I can’t blame her, It’s not her fault, her bottle is her comfort but when you have been in college all day, trying to take in as much info as you can while trying to stay awake you begin to lose patients……. I’m only human right??? At one point last night I was crying with Arabella, not because I was sad but because I was mentally and physically drained from doing it all…. (Mammy’s I’m sure you get the whole tears thing)
As I didn’t get any sleep last night I couldn’t get out of bed this morning, both kids running around the house throwing toys down the stairs, fighting, kicking, screaming while I’m trying my hardest to drag myself out of bed. One thing about me is I’m really good at routine, from birth the kids have always had a strict routine and its been working well, I’m never late for nursery, I’m that mammy that’s there 5 mins early waiting at the doors to open LOL but I looked at the clock and it was 8am (the time I have to leave the house at), I decided to not stress and just go with it, it’s not the end of the world if I’m late, so I took my time while dragging my heels around trying to get them and myself ready.
Walking to creche with no sleep was so tiring, my usual routine would be to walk straight to the gym (my happy releasment place) but this morning I just couldn’t do it even though I wanted to I just had to listen to my body, so I did. I brought my books and my laptop and came to get coffee. Which is where I am now – looking out the window and thinking about the last couple of months trying to juggle it all. Sitting here with coffee and messy hair (not even brushed) and I’m not going to lie I got a cookie 😉 I needed it!
The last few months have been amazing, starting my Personal training course, doing something for ME, Emma Time…… I lost myself for so long, I didn’t know who I was anymore, but I loved working out, going to the gym, engaging with people, living a healthy (ish) lifestyle, so I made the decision to go back to college (which wasn’t easy) I had a lot of factors to consider, how will I pay for this? Who will mind the kids? will I be able for it? am I capable of doing this? I had so many doubts but also so many dreams. Everything I do is for my children to give them a good life,a better life, so much so that I forget about myself sometimes.
So I bit the bullet and I sent Image fitness an email and I enquired about the course, I expected an email back but they called me,and I spoke to someone on the phone (which was scary) I asked a load of questions and got all my questions answered, I remember asking Barbra on the phone (do mother’s do this course? will I be able for it?) I had no self belief a few months ago, I doubted myself everything single day……. She kinda laughed and assured me that if I put my head down i’d be well able for it, but she also assured me that If I was struggling that they would help me, my mind was at ease and on that phone call I made my decision to go for it and BOY am I glad I did, I am so happy I went for this, the people I have met alone have made an impact on my life, I’v been having fun again, laughing, smiling, joking but more importantly i’v been educated in the fitness industry, I still have so much to learn but I am excited to continue in this journey.
The tutors in my course are unreal, I cannot commend them enough they’re so unbelievably knowledgeable, and one thing I love about them all is that they want us all to succeed and do well for ourselves. Over the past few months I have got some fantastic feedback and some lovely comments were made, they probably will not realise it but the comments they made will stay with me for life. There is no better feeling than being praised for your hard work, knowing it’s not gone un noticed, it’s what has kept me going.
My college days are Wednesday & Thursday 10am – 4.30am I wake up at 6.30 eery morning get myself and kids washed and dressed, pack their bags and leave at 8am to walk 30 mins to their creche, I then meet my class mate Nicole (who’s like my bestie by the way) at the creche and we walk for another 30-35 mins to the bus stop to get the bus to college, so by the time we reach college we are absolutely nackered from all the walking let alone the very few hours sleep I get at night.
I can honesty say I love Wednesday and Thursdays I love going into college and having that Emma time, time away from being a Mother, time away from cleaning the house, for those hours I’m just me I’m a student who’s educating myself trying to get an education to support myself and my family.
When I come home it’s then Mammy mode – cooking, cleaning, playing, organising, washing, food shopping, ironing, etc by the time the kids get to bed I’m absolutely drained and mentally wrecked, some days I’m so wrecked that I just cannot take out the books to study…….. Like this week for e.g. my body has completely shut down today, I couldn’t go the gym to clear my head but sometimes we have to listen to our body’s.
Juggling it all is challenging but what gets me through is COFFEE and my VISION!!!!!! My vision for the future, the life I want to have with my kids, a life where I am fulfilled and and inspiring my kids and other people everyday to show them determination, motivation and sheer passion. Im so excited to work in the fitness industry, work with people like me trying to reach their fitness goals, stay healthy, find inner peace and be happy in their own skin….. Im excited t share all my very own tips with you on my personal fitness journey and my own mental health.
If I can go back to education and raise two babies alone ANYONE can, don’t allow excuses or negative people get in the way, if you want to do something DO IT, whats the worse that can happen?
We only get one shot at this life, make your absolutely amazing, so good that the haters will grow to love you 🙂
God bless you sweetheart. What a terrific role model you are. X